“You want buy DVD/CD/Watches!?”

“Come have a look! Lookie! Lookie!”

The supposed Columbia pants I purchased at the market did not make it past their first round of use. I lost one zipper, one drawstring, and one pocket in the course of the first day. How do you lose a pocket for crying out loud! If I were a betting man, I can only imagine there will not be much blue left after the first wash either. To be honest, our experience at the Xiangyang Market (commonly called the Fake Market) was worse than even I expected- and we had been forewarned plenty by our fellow classmates. The instant they see a Westerner approaching (and they can smell you from a mile away), you have a hoard of people surrounding your every move and there is no direction you can turn really to escape. Caro finally managed to find one person and selected him to follow us around and make the introductions at “only the best shops” (and she got to practice a little Mandarin along the way). I would only recommend this approach- you have to get the card of one of the locals to make sure they meet you out front and “escort” you around the market (keeping all the other commission seekers off your back).

Nevertheless, the whole experience had me thinking about how this scene must be the torture that we males who hate window shopping would have to endure in Dante’s Level 9 of the Inferno. About the only thing that made it slightly enjoyable was thinking about the next time I visit with my Dad or one of my Uncles, when I will be sure to explain to the crowd that this Westerner is really interested and excited in purchasing some DVDs, while I run full speed the other direction.

And I still have an incessant ringing in my ear... DVDS/Watches!DVDs/Watches!DVDs/Watches!”